On God's Time

To Laurence and John, lovely blokes the pair.

I stared up at the clock on the tower of St Saviour.

I hadn't really noticed this church before, but

Even though it was ten to seven,

The clock said five to four.

And I wondered about an omnipotent god who couldn't wind his own watch, and

Was always late to brunch.

I thought that maybe God deliberately set the clock to a different timezone, so

Whenever he was in Norwich, He'd know what time it was in Suriname.

I wondered if He had different churches all round Norwich,

Showing the times around the world,

Like they do in the White House, and

Whether He had a team of wise-cracking advisors like Martin Sheen.

And then I wondered why I was wondering, because

I don't believe in God.

And then I realised,

I was probably the massive spliff that UNNAMED FOR LEGAL REASONS and I just smoked.